We’ve all dealt with insecurities at some point in our lives. Some of us are just better at hiding or dealing with them than others.
You worry that you’re not intelligent or fun enough, you worry that you won’t have a future as bright as someone else’s, you worry that you’re not attractive or that you’ll never find your dream job. In short, you worry that you’re not good enough to lead the kind of life you want. These self-critical thoughts or pangs of self-doubt slowly enter your mind and attach themselves to you like nasty parasites. But is that right?
How Do You Know That You’re Insecure?
Insecurity arises from the fear of not being ‘good enough’ or ‘having enough’ to be happy. Thinking negative thoughts about yourself every day can take a toll on your life. Before you know it, they’ll take up pretty much the entire space in your mind and become toxic. So, how do we recognize the common signs or characteristics of insecurity in us? Let’s find out.
One of the most common signs of insecurity is of being constantly anxious. Since you’re always afraid of what people might think about you or how they’ll judge you, you become too scared to mess things up. So, you tend to shut yourself down in situations that require social interaction or fail to participate in important tasks. When you find yourself making a mistake, you beat yourself up constantly, indulge in self-pity and begin to doubt yourself even more.
What Can Be Your Reasons For Insecurity?
There are always reasons for the way we are, the way we think and the way we behave. We may have stayed oblivious to these reasons for a long time but deep down, certain experiences from our past or a few things that we do every day have the ability to shape us in a way that we never thought. When something hurts or bothers us in a way that cannot be expressed effortlessly, it gets stored in our subconscious. When this gets bottled up over time, it begins to get expressed through our thoughts and behaviors and affect our routine life. So, what, in fact, leads a person to become insecure?
As children, we face situations that we can’t control or change. There are decisions that are not in our hands and sometimes, we can’t express what’s affecting us. Someone who has been bullied in school may continue to have a deep-rooted fear of being judged or made fun of by people around them.
When we’re young, we see ourselves through our parents’ eyes. We don’t know what’s right or wrong ourselves, so we believe whatever they try to make us understand. Their compliments become important to us, so when they disapprove of something, we take it so seriously that they tend to stay with us.
One of the most common reasons for insecurity stems from toxic relationships. Chances are that if you’ve been betrayed, cheated on or dumped by someone you loved, you will find it extremely difficult to move on.
How To Overcome Insecurity?
The most important question is – how do we overcome insecurity in the different phases of our lives? Let’s find out.
Find out what’s really bothering you and speak to your partner about it. Is it something that they did that is troubling you? Is it something to do with your own interpretation of a situation or do they feel the same too? Let your partner know what you’re thinking and work it out instead of overthinking and immersing yourself in self-doubt.
Stop Comparing Yourself
The worst thing that you can do is compare yourself to other important people in your partner’s life or their exes. Understand that there’s a reason why they are with you, not them. It’s because they love you and adore you for who you are. It’s okay to feel a little jealous, sometimes, but not to such an extent that it creates a toxic environment for you both and drives him away due to your never-ending doubts, accusations or misunderstandings.
Learn To Differentiate Between Healthy & Unhealthy Worries
When you’re trying to work on a challenging project or task, you’re bound to feel a bit worried in the beginning. Sometimes, these feelings give us the kind of push we need to discover our limitless potential and become the stepping stones to our success. But you must learn to distinguish between the kind that’s healthy for work-life and the one that slowly ruins your peace of mind. Don’t let it interfere with your ability to get the job done, but use these emotions to drive you to greatness.
Love Your *Perfect* Imperfections
It’s important to feel comfortable in your own skin and be HAPPY with yourself. Nobody is perfect in this world. We all have flaws and that’s what makes us unique. If you want to change or improve something about yourself, try to find a solution and start working towards it diligently. But if there’s nothing you can do about it, learn to accept your imperfections and be content with them.
Self-introspection is important. Take it one step (and day) at a time and fall in love with yourself.